After a long and painful battle with addiction, surely love is always the answer? An important consideration in regard to relationships in early recovery is that those in early recovery or release from rehabilitation rarely know who they really are and often battle with this concept. If one is unsure of who they are, how can they know what they will want in a relationship? If they do not know who they are they cannot truly love themselves. If they do not love themselves how can they love a partner?
In light of these considerations on the topic of early recovery and relationships, everyone in early recovery from drug addiction, alcohol abuse or any form of addiction considering entering a relationship has reason for concern. The questions “is it possible this attraction is due to unconscious complexes or addictive behavior?” or “what contributes to my attraction to this person?” needs to be asked and strongly considered. And as a final thought in regard to answering these questions, does someone in early recovery have the capacity to be entirely honest with themselves, when not that long ago they were convincing themselves they needed another fix, drink, hit, etc. to get through the day?
Reasons Relationships in Early Recovery are Ill Advised because:
- Relationships take the focus off of recovery.
- Relationships take the focus off of the individual and their rehabilitation goals.
- Relationships increase the potential for relapse due to emotional intensity.
- There is too much potential for underlying issues, projections, and complexes to be creating the attraction.
- Low self-esteem and the bargaining process of relationships make early recovery a tenuous time to enter a relationship.
- There is a strong likelihood of outgrowing the relationship quickly.
- In early recovery you do not really know yourself yet.
- In early recovery you may not have a healthy understanding of what love is yet.
- There is a strong possibility of the individual in early recovery acting on, “I want what I want when I want it.”
- In light of advice to the contrary, if you decide to enter a relationship, you are working your own program. This is self-will, and this is an addictive behavior.
For information on Eden Recovery Centre’s Treatment Programmes and advice on relationships in the stages of recovery, please contact the Eden Recovery Centre. You can depend on full discretion.